Welcome to Paradise

What is it with me and my long time between posts?  Well from last year, quite a bit has happened.  If you remember and all I had to leave my house due to the unsafe environment that stirred up.  Since then I moved in with a friend's family in Pembroke and stayed with them until August.  I was successful in getting into the University at Buffalo after not passing my last semester at G.C.C. due to the overwhelming stress and emotional toll (Dad's death the year prior did not help matters either).  I had a brand new start in a brand new school, but the transition from nothing to a new place with no support outside of school aided in my decline!  The fucking financial aid office here is completely useless, did not tell me things that needed to be changed with my account, and they did not get me my refund check until November opposed to after the first few weeks of school.  Because of their asshattery I was out a computer until much later in the semester, so my mother had to go out and get another loan before that check came in but luckily I hadtuinte who came to my rescue and helped me through the entire process.  But because of my lack of internets, I became lonelier because I didn't have any friends out here and didn't quite know how to vent (also due to me not being out here).  I was also told by one of my professors (after reviewing my portfolio) that I am probably not going to get into the Communication Design program.  So basically after these events and others I became horribly withdrawn and couldn't bring myself to go to classes.  So your humble narrator failed his first semester completely with a 0.0 GPA.  Thus ends my first semester.

This semester is different, although somewhat.  I originally took 15 credit hours + 3 more from a magazine I joined that counts towards a level 300 English course.  I dropped all but two and still continuing with Generation, but it's working out just fine even if I am down to part-time.  Not as depressed as last semester, but it still bothers me that my mother has not sent me a package of any sorts and that the last time she came out and visited me was for my birthday.  She hasn't kept her promise of depositing money in my account every month either, letting me drain my bank account almost completely to pay bills, buy food, and buy all my books.  I'm no longer in that kinda/sorta/not really relationship that was developing.  I still do care for him, but I also know that I was horribly naïve the whole way through.

My sister moved out of the house and is living in Lockport with her (awesome) boyfriend.  She's pregnant and due in a few months, so I'm going to be an uncle for the first time soon!  They're having a girl and naming her Ryann.  I'm not too keen on the spelling but I love the name.  I go and visit them once in a while since they only live about 30 minutes away from my dorm.  I'm going to wrap it up here because we're off to the dining hall, but I guess this has just been another major learning and growing process for me.  I love and miss all of you guys.

Love always,

Steve "shroudie" Ardo

It's already been a year already, but I'm still as fucked up as when it happened on this day.  Well, I've gotten a bit better, but I think this is something that I will probably deal with for the rest of my life.  I have my friends, my family, and someone I love very much, so I know that I will never be alone.

I miss him so much.

Not as depressed anymore!  GO ME!  A ton of updates but you will all hear the details soon.  Just as a filler, this is finally my last semester at G.C.C.  University is coming in the fall and I can't wait.

Comrades!  I'm still alive!  I promise and I never deliver, but that's all going to change today!  Well, we'll see about that, but for now I give you another delicious entry.  Behold!  It is 07.07.2007 and I am currently out of a job and living off a couple of hundred dollars until I snag another one.  I've applied to quite a few places, but I refuse to go down without a fight!  I will get a job, oh yes.  Anyways, shit like that happens so you just gotta roll with the punches and deal with the situation until things get better.

In the world of gaming I'm extremely far behind due to my compulsions to buy games that I've been delaying picking up.  I am just before the last dungeon of Final Fantasy XII where I am just finishing up the last Mark and all the other sidequests.  In Pokemon Diamond I have received 6 badges, leveling up and doing all that extra stuff.  On top of those I also picked up Super Mario 64 DS, Pokemon Fire Red, Radiata Stories, Disgaea, and Tony Hawk's American Wasteland.  While the last option is rather awkward from the rest, I used to enjoy the games back in the day of the original Playstation so I couldn't pass it up (and for $20 at that).  Also keep in mind that you get to customize your character's entire look, so I get to have my shirtless, mohawk guy in combat boots.

Back into the world of real-life enjoyment.  I returned the other day from my mini-holiday where I spent 3 days stalking hanging out with castomel as we explored the vast regions and alleys of Toronto.  We spent soo much money, but it was worth every penny paid.  Andrew pointed out some of the beautiful and vomit-inducing architecture that dotted the city, watched the amazing Ocean's Thirteen, explored Pacific Mall, had delicious meals of sushi and bbq pork, enjoyed a Mel's Big Baby Breakfast, and generally lounged around just enjoying the company of one another.  I'm also obliged to mention that I bought beer twice legally.  He is truly as awesome in real life as he is online, and I couldn't ask for a greater friend.  It'll be a while before I can visit again (see first paragraph), but I am definitely looking forward to the next time.

I'm still here~

Just a small update before my larger one next time.

Put my two-weeks in at Denny's basically because I refuse to work for a douchebag manager who talks down to me.

Going down to Utica 06.08-06.10 for the Relay for Life (a walk for Cancer that my dad was really involved in since we left), and maybe I'll actually get a chance to visit his gravesite for the first time.

I dunno, beat FFVI (working on Dragon's Den), towards the end of FFXII, and 4 badges in for Pokemon Diamond.

Also, I ended my hiatus and went back to being a mediaite at RPGamer cuz yeah, it's been too long. Although when I did get back a little over 1/2 the room was people I never saw before. But I'll reclaim my media crown someday.

So like I said before, more next post!

Deshy isn't a crazed, psychotic, killer rapist out for my blood after all! I mean, there was spilling of blood but I can not speak of the details surrounding those circumstances.

The trip here was not too bad, and for the most part I had a seat to myself where I slept an hour in-between stops and whatnot. Boston was not bad either, considering the 2 hour wait I had to catch the bus. I read a bit farther in A Clockwork Orange, just finishing the chapter where Alex 'has fun' with the two young girls. Futuristic dystopias, how I heart thee. ^_^ Anyways, as my departure time (7:45) drew near I waited patiently for the arrival/boarding announcement for Greyhound. In fact, I even checked the screens that displayed the schedules to see if it was in or not. When 8 o'clock came I wandered out to the terminal where a Greyhound employee asked me if I needed assistance. He informed me that the bus left at exactly 7:45 and that another Greyhound would not be bound for Portland until 6 o'clock the following morning. Apparently they DON'T have to inform you if the bus arrives or at what dock to wait at. Fuckers. Anyways, I asked a Concord Trailways driver (headed to Portland as well) if it would be at all possible to catch a ride on that service and he was very pleasant and ensured me it would not be a problem. But overall, I am enjoying my trip very much so. I just need to remember to take pictures.

Love you all <3

Wow....
Just wow.

How the fuck did I convince my mother to let me go to Maine for a week?  Esspecially the same mother who before was worried that Rob was going to rape/murder me and had the same convictions toward Ben?

I guess this is a step in the right direction, but wow.

I should be a lawyer if I'm that good.

As of right now everything is all over and done with with the exception of cleaning out my dad's apt.  Let me say this, the way the funeral director handled things my father is turning in his grave.  If you may not remember my ramblings last year about my father's family, let me sum it up: egotisitcal, ungrateful, self-centered, heartless bastards.  Because my sister and I have no way of providing monetary funds for the ceremony, that duty fell on my father's sister.  From our meeting on Thursday with the director, it was plainly obvious that somehow his family had paid for the cheapest one they offered and opted to have them listen only to their demands.  They butchered his already made obituary to include detailed information about his siblings' husbands and wives that he didn't want in there originally.  Us, his children, were listed at the dead end and even then all monetary donations were to made to his sister, not us.

I have never in my life been treated so rudely by anyone in a professional field.  Calling hours/the wake/etc. were held on Sunday and the director and his wife was very short with my sister and mother when they asked things, and the set up was obviously segregated.  Tiffany and I were situated that when patrons came in, we were the first ones they met with before going to the actual casket then visiting his line of family.  With that said, his sister invited everyone from her work who 99% of them walked right passed Tiffany and I without even any acknowledgement whatsoever.  Then the Cancer Society representatives came by to present a medal in his honour to his family, and so they walked right by us and handed it to his sister.  That hurt like hell.  We were closer to him then they ever were his entire life and she gets a fucking medal?  When my sister inquired about this, the director's wife just shrugged and said that it belongs to her regardless.  (My mother wound up talking to the reps. and explaining our feelings and they gave us one each today.)  I even got asked if I was a relative. x.x  To add up the stupidity, his landlord has been a douchebag (refused to check on him Wednesday night when my sister asked him too) and stated that he wants the apartment cleaned out as soon as possible (ie. this week), so my father's family decided to go through and "clean" it out (meaning find what they can sell without us knowing) before we get a chance to get together what we want.

Onto today!

We arrived at the funeral parlour in order to pay our final respects and whatnot.  My father's sister again brought up the will being read (they've been trying to find out who goes to who since Thursday) in the middle of the fucking room.  She also went and told my sister that she would have to handle cancelling everything for him (which isn't her job) and tell the post office what to do.  She's not going to because she's not the benneficiary (or however you spell it) and his sister also works for the fucking post office.  The funny thing is that they don't get a single thing except his computer, but they're greedy cunts anyways.  Anways, on our way out my sister asked the director again to make sure that she'd be getting his jewelery (cross, watch, ring, etc.) after the funeral was over and met with short, blunt answers of annoyance.  When asked if we (his fucking children) were getting lamenated copies of his obituary, he said he asked Bonnie (his sister) and she said okay.  Wait, what?  You had to ask whether or not we could get fucking copies of our fucking father's obituary?  It was that much of a struggle to shell out a couple of dollars so we can have one each?  FUCK YOU.  I swear, they went for the cheapest plan and we got the cheapest service and treatment.  I wouldn't be surprised if his family went and told them to treat us like crap.  Fucking bastards, but I know they'll wind up getting their own in the end.  Good lord, my mom's going to get the board of funeral directors or whatever the fuck they/'re called and let them know that we weren't pleased with that shitty service.  The will is safely in my mom's old attorney here, so he's going to handle everything.

They'll get theirs in the end.
I need a fucking vacation.  Desh, I can't wait to see you~

After struggling to watch suffering for over 7 months, I now don't need to worry anymore.  I really don't know how I feel right now, and I know now that it is all right.  I guess this is almost a release for me.  I love you all, thank you for being there for me.  I will be in Utica over the weekend, if you wanna drop me a line you are more than welcome to.  My frienships and support will get me through this.

1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...
7. Put this in your journal!

Opening: The Real McKenzies - Droppin' Like Flies
Waking Up: Rancid - Midnight (Technically I'm still awake then, so...)
First Day of School: Millencolin - A Bit of Muslin
Falling in Love: Screeching Weasel - Things Seem All Fucked up Today (How true!)
Fight Song: Rancid - Burn (Let the motherfucker buuuurn)
Breaking Up: Millencolin - Use Your Nose (How....odd)
Life: Rancid - Dope Sick Girl (Makes sense)
Mental Breakdown: Hazen Street - Are You Ready (Another fine choice)
Driving: Pennywise - The Secret (Good driving beat)
Flashback: Millencolin - Melancholy Protection (Fits)
Getting Back Together: Screeching Weasel - I Fall to Pieces (This is really appropriate)
Wedding: Matchbook Romance - My Eyes Burn (Ahahaha, excellent!)
Birth of Child: Fear Before the March of the Flames - On the Bright Side, She Could Choke (!!!!!!!!  YES!)
Final Battle: The Early Novembers - Something that Produces Results (As with any final battle, It's life or death!)
Death Scene:  The Matches - Audio Blood (We bleed, we bleed, we bleeeeed Audio Blood)
Funeral Song: Screeching Weasel - Fathead (If you insist)
End Credits: Rancid - Roots Radicals (<3)

You all remember my former employment at hell, correct?  Well as of today, Six Flags has sold the netherworld to a Florida company for some large sum of money or whatnot.  So as I smake my head at the stupidity that Six Flags is for taking over our park to begin with, I am not surprised at this outcome one bit.  Reasons it was doomed: small park, situated in rural town, expensive corporate-controlled prices, douchebag managers, horrid Country-singing shows, and of course the fact that the last two recent ride editions were both water rides.

Leave it to me to injure myself on the job on a regular basis (cuts, minor burns, etc.), but somehow I manage to make it through without anything too drastic.  Today as I was walking to the grill to flip turkey, I slipped (in my slip-resistant, company-issued shoes) right in front of it and landed with the sides of my wrists in order to prevent my face from becoming grilled turkey.  Lo and behold, my left wrist  remains a bit red,  but that should not last for very long, however my right wrist was not as fortunate.  A 2 1/2" long by 1 1/2" area of my skin is completely blistered with 6 small areas of bubbling and 1 major blister that's irritating the hell out of me.  I'm wagering it's either 2nd or 3rd degree burns, from experience, but I will get it checked out tomorrow!  (Yay, 2 doctor visits in 1 week!)

Also, Christmas was pretty good, considering the stress me and Tiff are going through with dad.  I wound up getting some pretty cool shit.  Clothing, books (1984, A Clockwork Orange, America the Book ftw), dvds (Brokeback Mt., Crouching Tiger, etc.), and a digital camera! :O  I had to work from 2-7 (it turned out to be 8) so I got paid for 9 hours.  I dunno, things are good.  They were made even better when I actually had a chance to hear Deshy's voice. :D

Mary Kristmess, people who celebrate it!

Regarding my last post, that was totally and completely me having a breakdown.  I'm doing a helluva lot better since that time, and have felt rather good lately.  Anyways, with the holidays fast approaching I figured this was my only chance to wish you all well-being and good health.  You see, tonight I work the 5-10 shift, tomorrow the 2-7 shift, and New Year's Eve 10-somethingsomething in the morning.  While I miss out on totally relaxing it will be worth it as I get time and a half.  Anyways, yeah, I love and miss everyone (like always), and hope you enjoy a Happy "Jesus Coming out of Vagina" Day tomorrow (a special wish that could only come from the cutest Gay Jew I know).  Also it should be noted that castomel is by far the greatest person I know.  For realz.

Defective Pit Bull models no longer mistake childrens' faces for delicious ham hocks. says:
know what's better than taking on a level III Mark with a guest character?
Robbo @ Work says:
winning?
Defective Pit Bull models no longer mistake childrens' faces for delicious ham hocks. says:
taking on a level III Mark with a guest character AND with an extra fighter from Clan Centurio!
Defective Pit Bull models no longer mistake childrens' faces for delicious ham hocks. says:
Paradise Risen, defeateded

I couldn't sum up today any better than ry has.

"happy fucking tv-killing holiday you goddamn football maniacs!"

So today I had orientation for my new job! What job? Cook at Denny's starting at 8.00 an hour. Yeah, I wanted to get out of food service but this is a very good thing considering my funds have been rapidly depleting before my eyes. So I officially start tomorrow in regards to actual training in the kitchen. It's so exciting, and now I'm even going to have even more time because I'm withdrawing from two classes this semester. Just can't really deal with extra work considering my circumstances, you know? So yeah, unfortunately I'm stuck at GCC for another semester, but I think it'll be a lot easier on me.

:D